Story not yet done

In mid of a deep conversation, I began to get frustrated with her. It was getting late or I suppose you could say early since the sun was beginning to break. I looked at my wrist for the time, but I had taken my watch off earlier. I was tired. Tired of sitting at the desk, night by night. Arguing over the littlest things. I knew I had to give up and change something in my life. To set a goal. I knew I wanted her, but she didn't want me. She would tell me one thing then another. How could I possibly think that this girl remotely wanted me? I'm too plain. Too overly emotional and dramatic. I was in love with someone who chucked me for the next thing. I felt used, like a toy thrown behind to be forgotten. I had to find a way to get her back. I couldn't keep on living like this; crying all the time. Something had to give. She said she wanted me too, wanted and loved me but not just me. After she had signed off and said good night, I got up from my computer and poured myself a drink. I drink to numb myself so I wouldn't have to miss her for a few hours. I was tired of drowning myself in misery. I knew I wouldn't be happy without her, but at least the pain would subside. I looked at the clutter of mess that would be my desk. How was it possible to even work in this mess? I was tired of my life. Of always being such a slob. I began to shove jotted down papers into a bag. Felt my phone vibrating under the mess. I started to throw everything off the desk, trying to find the phone to answer it. After a few minutes of searching, I find the phone and see a few unread text messages. It was a rare moment when I did not answer my messages. They were from her. Asking me if I was working today. She never says a simple "I miss you" or a "how are you?" Of course, she would know the answer to that. It never changes. Without answering, I chucked the pink blackberry aside. I knew she would wonder, but she probably didn't care. I had better things to do today. I wasn't going to school, just a waste of my time. I much rather just sit at my computer and write. That or go shopping. Blow my paychecks before I even have it. Whatever, it made me feel better. I went to find some change of clean clothes in my dresser. Tiptoeing around so I wouldn't wake my roomate up. He was an even bigger slob. Clothes everywhere on the floor, on the chair. Dirty dishes took place on his desk. He was lying stretched out in bed, snoring. God, what a disgusting pig. I grabbed my clothes and quickly got out of there. My fluffy orange cat pawed at my feet as I walked by in the hallway toward the bathroom. What I needed was a hot shower to start the morning off. I needed to shake my thoughts of her away. I undressed and turned the shower faucet on. The cat jumped and sat ontop the toilet and watched me get in. I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking about the times I had broken down in this shower. The times I had sex with her and everything. What was I thinking? I need to forget her. Well, there goes a perfectly good shower ruined. I got out and dried off. Got dressed then grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I didn't bother dry my hair. I had enough. I was sick of being cooped up in that crummy one bedroom apartment. I needed to get out, I wanted to see her. I knew she was working at ten o'clock. It was a Saturday. I didn't work for another few hours. I walked down my street. Wishing that the snow would melt and that the weather would get warmer already. It was supposed to be spring for gods sake. I wanted the sunshine to beat on my back. I wanted to wear capris and a simple tank top instead of the heavy winterwear. I got to the end of the street. I knew I shouldn't go see her. Afterall, she probably didn't want to talk. She would just brush me aside for some new girl. What's new? I decided I wasn't going to go visit her just yet. I headed for the book store. The sidewalk was wet. Signs that the snow was beginning to melt. I thought happily to myself, maybe I will get a book today. I crossed the road and headed into the book store. Indigo was huge. I couldn't remember the last time I had been here by myself. Oh, I probably haven't. I remember the last time I was here. I had come with her. I headed straight for the teen section. Looking for the next great buy. I flipped through some vampire novels. It was all the rage these days. Everyone was writing and reading those. I'm a big fan of Twilight, but it had become such a fad where they're turning the series into movies. Too many teens were attracted, it ruined the feel of a good book. I had enough. I didn't find a book, so I headed over to Starbucks. I ordered a Vanilla Chocolate Latte. I sat down for a moment. Deciding to text my friend. Seeing as she worked today too as well, I'd find out if she was on her break yet. I missed her. I'd spend hours talking to her because I loved her. Even when she frustrated me. I hated this; missing her. Everything I ever wrote was pretty much about her. I didn't have a goal set in my life. Except that I knew I wanted to write. I went to see my friend that was working. I wondered if she got her new dreads yet. I loved her pink hair. I wished I could sport my hair like that, it would attract too much attention though. I have enough as it is, I rather be invisible except to her. She would look at me like I had twelve heads anyway. She couldn't even talk to me. I hated how she would text me and bitch at me if I didn't answer but couldn't talk to me in person? How ridiculous is that? I had told her I thought about moving. She didn't care. Why do I get so upset about this girl? Whatever, I thought. I've got to move on. I walked into the doors at my low paying job. God, I hated this place. It's always such a mess and there's always some cranky old bitchy lady. I walked to my department. She looked over at me, and gave me a nod. I went straight to the fitting room to talk to my friend.