Six Feet Under

Buried so deep, six feet under
The world weighing down upon my shoulders
There's barely anything to keep me from screaming
But nobody ever hears
I'm stuck inside
I've been the hurricane down destructive paths
Ripping you apart because it kills me deep down
Been the lightning to crack the whip
So strong but yet I'm so weak
Fallible like a house of cards caving in
Sinking fast deep in quick sand
Nobody to string me along
I'm falling, falling, falling-
Straight back down
Silent screams run down my face
Angry scars bare on my body and soul
There's no escape when there's no you
Come save me, I can't stand like this
You're my saving grace.

Dark Sea of Bitterness

Her black hair put down to shield her face
Shy and timid
She tries to hide-
Her beauty is intensifying
Murder Mysteries cover her stunning brown eyes
Unlike her name, Adrianna, Dark Sea of Bitterness
She is completely flawless
Desperate not to live up to her name,
She conceals herself
Depending upon nobody but herself
She shows fire within but easily contains it
Grips life into her fingers intangibly
Her heart is so big she cannot help everyone she wants
Shy laughter, sparkling eyes when she achieves some good
How can one so beautiful be called the Dark Sea of Bitterness-
She's flawless.

Hard Truth

She painted a smile
Begged me with her tears;
Just pretend along with me

But me being filled with love and hate-
Turned and spewed how I felt

You want me to lie about how I feel?
Lead a life of whom society has created?
In a world where shades of grey does not exist?
Black versus white
What if I'm not the person you know?
The person who holds you tight at night
And tells you everything's alright?
What if I'm the person who you'd hate?
Maybe I've developed two personalities;
The one the world knows,
And the other nobody but me.
How much do you truly know about someone?
How do you know when one person is conflicted?
What if they were straight or gay?
What if they were sex addicts or a church go-er?
Would it matter if they were a prep or geek?
What if I was all the above or none?
Would it matter?
Should it?

I could leave her speechless,
Destroy and break her to pieces with seldom words
Boggle her mind with uncertainty
I'd take away her innocence with knowledge

But I wouldn't;
Society has done enough of that to me.

Perfect Disguise. December 17th, 2009

I think she knows
She's not a stupid girl,
I'm sure she sees the way my face falls
Every single time I hear her name
Or when she walks past without a glance
Without a chance-
I think she knows,
How can she not?
I close my eyes and wish with all my might
That I won't forget
I wish you'd put up more of a fight
I paint the perfect mask of complexion,
My eyes are smiling while I'm screaming inside
I could never handle the rejection
Mind apart and souls divide
I think she knows
When I turn to say I'll be alright
I keep my voice steady but my body says something else
I'll shake and she'll try to hold me tight
But I'll do what I always do- push her away
I think she knows
I can't handle this anymore
Every word out of my mouth is trite
Why am I the one she chose to ignore?
I'll take a breather- just for tonight
I think she knows
She knows-
I'll break myself before I'll break her heart
Drinking just to forget
I just can't tear myself apart
I won't do anything I'll regret
I think she knows
She definitely knows-
I'm falling apart one by one
My mask of disguise crumbling away
I've already begun to coming undone
Everything's out for me to portray
I think she knows
That I miss you.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Definitely my blackberry. I'd say my kitties but they're not items lol.

Lifeline

I wish I could tell you exactly what's on my mind
I close my eyes to escape
But thoughts keep flooding in
I wish I could describe the feelings I get
Extreme highs and extreme lows
With you, I'm sky high
But when I come down, I crash so hard
Exhausted from three switches
Happy, sad, mad
Weren't these supposed to be balanced out?
Good days, bad days
I hold on tight
But sometimes its got a stronger grip
Tears is my escape
Anger is my defense
Love is my rescue
I get reeled back in
Only to slip again
Help me figure this out,
Save me from me.

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

I chose Britney Spears because she's got a hard life to live. With her money & constantly being in the spotlight wherever she goes... she's one hell of a strong woman! I've grown up listening to her music, loved every single song she had. Believed she'd get better and she has. She's been through hell and back. I'd trade places for a day to see how much it takes, if I can endure as much as she has. And to give her some low-key get away for a day lol.

Love song

I scream, you scream
Push comes to grips
Tighter, closer
I bite, you moan
I go deeper, you orgasm
We flip, you make me scream
Nails dig in, I orgasm
And we dance.

Day 05: A picture of your favorite memory

This was a really great night aside from Angie's phone breaking. We zoned out and had a blast in her car. <3

Day 04 : A picture of your night

This is after we showed up to Nikki's halloween/bday party. I dressed up as a Toronto Fan, and Angie dressed up as a Montreal fan. We didn't stay long cause I work tomorrow at 8.. yay. It was fun otherwise! <3

Day 03: Picture of the cast of your favorite TV show

BIG BANG THEORY! <3

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

This picture was at Acadia University for prom. One of our most proudest moments because we were so excited to have finally graduate and we dreamed about prom forever. Hard to believe it's been over three years since then. Robyn was my best friend throughout middle school til High school. I miss the days where it'd be just us and she was the girl I ran to for whatever I was upset or excited about. She knew me better than anyone else did. I love her, she's always gonna be one of my best friends <3 She's my Chickadee and I'm Twinkle Bear.

Day one: 10 facts about me

1. I'm loud and deaf
2. I'm honest
3. I love writing
4. I fight for what I believe in
5. I'm bisexual & I love my life
6. Blockbuster & pepsi are my weaknesses
7. The only season I like is summer
8. I love my girl, best friends & brother and sisters
9. My thoughts are never ending
10. I'm passionate, extreme, overprotective but that's what makes me, me

30 Day Picture Challenge

Alright, so there's this challenge thing that I thought I'd do everyday for a month. I have to post a picture each day and it has to mean something. Wish me luck...
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Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Deserted

Skies dark with angry clouds
Rain pounding pavement like fists
Thunder cracks as a whip
Bloodcurdling scream echoes
The street deserted
You are alone.

Fast Cars and Shooting Stars

Have you ever wondered;
Just how you're supposed to die?

Head on collision
Drunk or high
Your fault or mine

Accidental or suicide
Maybe by a ravenous murderer
Tied up and ripped apart
Bloodied from lust

Or by plain stupidity
Playing dares that went too far
Driving fast cars
Deer in the headlights
Maybe you just didn't care

Have you ever wondered;
Just what song they'll play?

Will they cry
Or laugh while reminiscing
Turn heads in shame

Will you be lain as a porcelain doll-
For all to see
Your hair all straight and pretty
Wearing your best clothes

Hoping people will cry
Remember you at your best
Will your memories-
Carry on
Forever in their hearts

Have you ever wondered;
Just what happens when you die?

Will you dance on moon beams
Fly amongst shooting stars
Dancing with fallen leaves

Will you stand beside them
Try to hold onto them
Telling them it's alright
Will they feel you near

Would you be happy
Find the light
Know you lived-
To the fullest
Please, remember me.

Where are you?

In my touches
In my kisses
Where are you?

Do you feel me standing by you
Holding your hands
Where are you?

I hear your laughs, do you hear mine
I see your smiles, do you see mine
Are you with me?

In everything, you are there
You are in me
I am with you; brushing away your shadows

We are never alone
I am yours and you mine
I feel you, I want you

I love you.

?

Footsteps pattering down a path
Feet dirtied by mud
Dress torn; caught by branches
Waves crash violently against rocks
Heavy breathing sounds
Where am I?

Sleepless

I wake
In my bed, in the pool of drool
Awaken from dead sleep
Restlessness hang from my shoulders
I sigh.
Fighting to go back to sleep
I look at the clock
My alarm will not sound for awhile
I lay back; watching you
Unable to sleep
So I watch your chest rise and fall
You are so beautiful
I wish I could crawl into your dreams
I can't pinpoint the weirdness I feel;
The dislocation and confusion
But one thing I'm sure of-
I'm right where I want to be.

Gateway

Something's wrong
Voices in my head tells me otherwise
I feel like a little girl lost
Everyone worries
Do I really need to be protected?
Why do I feel stuck?
I pretend nothing gets to me
Hold it all in
Til the gates are torn open
And the words begin to flow
Along with tears streaming down my cheeks
Where is my medium?
Emotions ranging from extreme highs and lows
No shades of grey
Just black and white
I fade in and out
Trying to be invisible
But I'm always found
Reeled back in by true love
My only escape
Release me from my gateway to hell;
Pure hell
Call me back to you
I fight for you
I fight for me
But something's wrong-
With me... I know.

Wonder

I am captivated
Stuck in this bodily shell
Several attempts to free myself
No one knows;

No one asks
Silent cries escape my lips
Will the world ever be lifted-
Off my shoulders

I walk as if nothing's wrong
Throw you off when truth comes out
You wonder why you never noticed
Why I never say the words

Nobody hears me speak
I hang back where there are crowds
I pretend I'm there
But I'm off dreaming

I feel disconnected
Told how to feel or act one way
I must try
But why?

I look at my body
I see all my flaws
Mirroring my every movement,
My eyes tell my worst pain

I'm here but I'm invisible
To myself
My heart knows love
I fight to keep every love I have

Love triumps pain

If I never-

I miss your smile,
Its the most vivid thing in my head
My fingers stretched,
Missing yours in between
Every thought, every tears
If I never cried,
I'd never feel you
If I never dreamed,
I wouldn't miss you when I'm awake
If I never held you,
I'd never know you
If I never saw your smile,
I'd never have the heavy feeling in my chest
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say this is love
I miss your laughter, the sweetest sound I've ever heard
One look is all it takes,
Reel me back under your spell
I never want to surface,
I wanna feel every emotion
Every touch of yours,
I never knew how much love I could feel
If I never took the jump,
I'd never fall in love
I can't imagine never knowing you,
I'd never know just how much I'd be missing out
I'm so in love with you,
Forever and for eternity.

Just the one

I have a need
Not many, just the one
won't you stay awhile
My fingers stretched
Spaces in between, missing yours
A brush of your skin,
My body remembers your touch
Tingling flame upon my lips,
I feel your last kiss
Everything I do,
Reminds me of you
In all things we do,
We intertwine
I have wants,
But I only need just the one
I want you
For every day I live, for eternity
To walk hand-in-hand on the beach,
I love you, forever and for always

Promises

In your mind I was yours and you were never mine
You did as you pleased
Felt what you wanted to feel
Never let anything in that was real
You said you knew what love is
But in truth you were scared
Said to love is to destroy
And that its for the weak
I'd love to see you crash
When you find the missing piece to your puzzle
I'd listen to your cry
You were strong but now you're weak
You search for somebody like me to really love you
You tell me you think it was a mistake
Maybe you shouldn't of let me go
But now it's way too late
You're terrified you'll hurt me again
So you turn and walk away
But stay close so that you still feel alive
I wonder what you will do
When you realized everything you wanted was in front of you
You had it the whole time
When your heart broke,
I stood by your side even though you broke mine
When you asked questions, I answered what I could
Even tried to help you find your way
Til this day I still smile when in thought of you
I'll never ever walk out of your life,
That's the only promise I can keep.

Was a love story

We were young when we met
I close my eyes
And the flashback begin to play
I'm standing there
With lilacs in my hair


Feel the stars
Feel the crowd, Feel the music
You make your way through the crowd
You had me at hello

The scene changed
You were Hamlet, I was Ophelia
A love unrequited
Begging you please don't go

Take me somewhere where we can be alone
I've been waiting, just grab my hand
You said you were the prince, I was the princess
It was a love story, all you had to say was yes

I sneak down to the river
I just had to see you one last time
So close your eyes
Lets pretend this is still real

You were supposed to save me, tell me how you really feel
This love is difficult but it's real
Don't be angry, I'll make it out of this mess
It was a love story, all you had to say was yes

I got so tired of waiting
I knew you would never be coming back
The pieces were coming undone
When I finally saw you face to face, I said

I've been feeling so alone
Missing a piece to my puzzle you call a heart
I keep on waiting but I knew you'd never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

I closed my eyes
You had to whisper you were the Prince and I was the Princess
Slight brush of a softness on my cheek
Then you were gone

The tears rolled down as the days rolled around
Baby, it was a love story, all you had to say was yes..




-- my version of Love Story- Taylor Swift--

No Regrets

She whispers "I want no regrets"
A splash of rain drip down her face
I want a world of honesty
A world of without treachery, lies and hate
The world grows dark, gray clouds coat the sky
A slight wind grows stronger every second
She balls up her hands into fists
Anger seeps out of her
Her heart aches as she falls to her knees
She cries-
A hand touches her right shoulder
She feels the world slipping back into her
All sense of belonging reasons with her
She grips tightly to the soft hands
Looking up into warm brown eyes,
"I have no regrets with you" she whispered.

Paralyzed

Watch the rain trinkle down
Look beyond the glass
The wind whispers to your ears
Singing the silent song that nobody hears
Reaching out, palm hand upright
In that moment the world disappears
Electric spasms from touch
Your body screams but you don't let go
Your eyes locked
Staring at something so beautiful
Something's calling your name
You turn to look but you can't move
Paralyzed-
You realize the scent that surround you
The sound changes to a sweet laughter
You see eyes full of smiles
You decide to leave the world behind
Because what's in front of your eyes
Is the only thing that matters;
She's your tears, your laughter
She's your heart.

indestructible

I hide behind masks of concealed disguises
My insecurities bring out the worst in me
I don't want to envy you
You're a dream maker -
But I don't wanna find out all the games you wanna play
You're full of mind games with a one track mind
I'll take my own sweet time
But I'll let you get the best of me,
Cause there's nothing else that I do well
She walks in and I slipped up -
My knees get weak
But I say that's just the nerves
But the truth is I've never fallen so hard
It terrifies me but you've got me smiling
I never wanna get up but you've knocked down my walls
This right here is where I belong - with you

To Live is to Die

To those who said, 'To live is to die'
Not one living thing has escaped its death
Whether to die peacefully or in terror
One must choose to either release the fear
Or to live in fear of something you cannot change
Some rejoice religiously, some might believe in out-worldly things
Or some might believe there's nothing there at all
Why are we born to suffer, to love, to experience
Why do we have to deal with losses to the reaper
We fight to live, but some fight to die
Some live long lives, some only live for weeks at a time
How do you choose, how do we deal
Panic attacks arise when thoughts of not existing
But what if-
What if we are okay?
What if we're not ?
We will never know...
It terrifies me
Thoughts of being buried or burned...
Or trapped screaming inside of a coma of which you will never wake
How do we know?
Some wish for immortality because they too are scared
Some think their lives are worthless
But why, why do we live to die?
Do we become stars amongst the rest of the glowing ones
Or do we float above our families and loved ones?
Do we have new lives?
Maybe we are where we choose to be
I wonder.. if we become happier
But it terrifies me
To leave you, to leave everyone
To have you leave me
It's not like I chose to live in fear
But I'm terrified of not existing
of being alone...
'To live is to die'
The only answer we have is to live life the best we can...
But I'm afraid of the unknown.

Life-----

Bleak, dreading
Wake up calls at 4 AM
Nobody cares
You fend for yourself
Stuck in place like glue,
Yet shattered across
Never mended- a broken heart
All smiles, all fake
Everyone lies-
Including me
Searching for something
Reasons to live for
Time never stops
The world keeps moving as if you don't exist
Nothing changes-
One life is meaningless to another person
But to some, you are the world
Holding hands help you feel not alone
We are all alone
But life is what you make it
You do what you can to survive,
So live life, laugh your heart out, love the ones you're with.

Swallow

Three A.M. blinks on the clock
I lay staring at the crack above my head
The branch taps on my window
As the rain patters on the roof
I pull on my coat for a walk
I knew I couldn't leave my thoughts unsaid
I headed to the park to settle my mind
The swift feel of the swings allows my body to relax
I knew I needed to talk
I felt like I was in over my head
I have to leave the past behind
The rain continued to splatter down my face
As the tears came one by one
The idle swinging slowly reached to a stop
A shiver run up my spine
There's no feeling that can replace the embrace
Sometimes it takes a thousand tries to finally have won
But secrets always creep out
No matter how hard you try
Truth always finds a way
A silhouette stands by the side
Only a memory can define the shadow that awaits
They have come out to play
I wait for the darkness to swallow me whole
The swings begin to swing alone
Leaves dance at my feet
One last look at the moon
And I'm blanketed with the dark for eternity.

What goes around, comes around

Every morning is a new day
But for me today the sky is grey
Everything keeps going wrong
The day seems to run too long
Anger sets in my chest
Every minute is a minute I detest
My heart pounds intemperately
Trying to piece my head and emotions separately
Reaching to the point of no gain
Fighting to find words to explain
Only tears can tell how I'm feeling
There's no way to tell you how I'm dealing
Frustration only seems to show
Time keeps on going by slow
When will the mess end
This stupid thing is hard to comprehend
Sometimes a fake smile is better than none
But the truth weighs a ton
Mind heavy with endless thoughts
But for you, this is a big fuck you
Mess with me, the flame only gets higher
You're just a stupid little liar
My anger is only the tip
Just wait until you get the whiplash
You stupid bitch, I hate you.

Today

Today-
I don't think I'll care
Think I'll let you stare
Hear you scream my name
I'll just take all the blame
I keep listening to you swear
While bits of me continue to tear
I'm the mirror to the one you compare
The feelings you've brought upon me are unfair
I fight to keep a straight face
I'm not easy to replace
I get weak in the knees
All because you're a tease
My stomach gets into knots
I pick love-me-nots
I get slammed by my heart
I've let you take it apart
No,today I don't think I'll care
But I'll make you aware
That I don't need you like I need air
I don't care.

♥

I'm holding it together but baby I'm coming undone
My world broke apart and came together all at once
The pieces holding me together has you written all over
I'll love you forever ♥ .

Dream

I trace the messy, uneven lines that scarred my arms
I didn't care
Inside my body screams, fighting against me
Why had I given the last shred of sanity away
I felt nothing but emptiness and longing
Terrified my world will soon fall apart
Feels like you've walked away
The little voice in my head beckons
My feelings morph into something dark
My hand reaches out
Expecting to release some unbearable pain
To scribble some more hate
I feel a hand instead
Not cold, not hard, something real
You are there; holding my wrists
I break, I fall apart
I cry for what seems like hours but only minutes
Reality sets in
You're not really here...
But you saved me anyways
Everything hits hard against the wall I've put up
Depression seeps through
But I'll fight, we'll fight
You're my everything,
I'm never letting go.

Tell the tale

Put the drink down
And tell the tale of your bleeding heart
Let the words musically flow
Along with the tears full of woe
Never thought the world would break apart
Listen to the words sweetly drown
Bring out your biggest fears
Cry out every single ache
Yell out all the hate
Set all your facts straight
These are your mistakes to make
Nothing seems as it appears
Take the steps you're determined to take
Live every breath as if it's your last
Walk and leave everything in the past
Life is yours to make
Now you'll finally be awake
Once you've realized your heart has dropped
True love has your pain stopped
Under your feet, the world has begun to shake.

Bitch

I don't care what you think
Or when you cry cause they're not real tears
I'm done with all the lies
Close your eyes and I'm gone within a blink
Not everything is as it appears
The truth is hidden in your eyes
I'll be a bitch cause I won't let you push me around
I won't cry when your heart breaks
Or when you're calling to say you miss me
Doesn't matter cause you let me down
Call me a liar cause I don't tell you secrets
Maybe cause it all happens to 'slip out'
Well I'm pounding down the pavement
Not much of a glance to look back
You sure aren't a friend without a doubt
I'm a freak cause I'm not like you
I'm done listening to you talk smack
I won't let you push me around
I'm not turning back
You can cry all you want
But you're the true bitch all around.

Everything's about you.

We went round for round
Screaming til we cried
Til we fell to the ground
We've given everything we had to be tried
Knocked on love's door
Only to be turned away
Left in a downpour
Every thought gets heavier as it weigh
I close my eyes and I see as you tear up inside
I fight against every word I've said
I'm tired of having to be the one trying to hide
Trying to keep my eyes on the sight ahead
Never been level headed
Don't know where to turn but to you
Terrified to have my heart shredded
But I know that you've gone through this too
I reach out for your hand
Holding on tight with two
That way I don't lose you when we land
Cause I know for sure that I love you.

The best of me

Forget your lies
Forget that you ever tried
I can see the tracks you tried to cover
The truth you could never face

You had the best of me,
I had the best of you
Til you took it all away
Made me see all the lies

I'll forget the smiles you tried to get
Forget the things you always faked
The ones you thought I bought
But I always knew you

I kept waiting for the lies to go away
I could forget how you made me wait
While you lied and said you weren't where you were
I'll forget that you said 'I love you'

You tried, you tried so hard
I'll forget the looks you gave
You and your wandering eyes
You'll never get the best of me now

You had the best of me,
I had the best of you
Til you took it all away,
Made me see all the lies

But I don't care
You'll never get the best of me now
You could try harder,
You'll still never get me

You'll never get me,
You'll never get the best of me now.

Screaming.

I'll scream it from the skies,
I'm dying inside,
And it's all from your lies
You can deny all you want
I've heard your cries
You've seen all my tries
But true love dies in your eyes
You've said all your goodbyes
Maybe it's my turn to close my eyes
I'm tired of trying,
Tired of dying,
And of all the lying-
No more relying
And no more crying
You have not torn up my pride;
We will never collide,
But at least I'm not dying inside,
I guess this is goodbye.

Miss Independent

She's packing the heat
Girl got the swagger down
Hips swaying left and right
Her confidence is concrete
Can't bring her down and around
She's got the fight
Proved me wrong of being submissive
Girl's so damn aggressive
She's the fire waiting to ignite
She knows how to be so expressive
I've got her so obsessive
She knows how to play the game
I like the way she touches me
Tells me to do it then and there
She's far from tame
My girl's best when shes free
Bite me if she dare
She knows I don't share
She's got me crazy
She's my miss independent

Prayer...

In my bed, tonight I lay
For which these heavens pray,
Protect my friends on their guided paths
Give them their dreams and make their worlds come alive
Make them creative as my world have become
Give them fight, strength to reach for the stars
Give them the world.

Vanished

I step forward;
I tumble
You stand an arm's length away
Coldest look I've never seen
I brush it off and smile
Reaching out for your hand
You step backward;
You vanish
I recoil
I could hide forever
Disappear like you did
I turn-
Walk away as if you were nothing
Branches scratch my arms
I don't give a shit
I'd take it all
Just to see your face one more time-
I wanna vanish...

No one but Me

"No one will love you better than yourself"-
Facing all truths and all my fears
When something gets too real,
I run.
Somewhere along the line,
I began to believe a lie I told myself
"You can do this, you deserve it like everyone else"
My cold blue eyes stare back,
Face wet with stained tears of the night
I've become someone I said I'd never be
I'm weak, I'm dependent, I'm nothing...
I write- only cause its what I do
I smile- only because you need to see it
Everything I've ever felt,
Pushed down somewhere inside
I've grown to let things slide,
But I've kept them held
I try so hard not to care,
But I try to show that I do
This person I've grown to know,
So confused and full of hurt
Incapable of letting it go.
I get jealous, I pretend things are okay
I never get mad, I get sad
The "I love you's" are the only words I'd never lie about
I'm tired of being sad,
Tired of hurting everyone and myself included
How do I make everyone happy,
How do I choose...
Itd be easier if I decided to hide under the covers tonight,
But I'll put a smile on my face
Walk out with my head held high,
Ignoring my thoughts that trail behind
I'll become oblivious to the world,
Hiding behind my words, behind what I write
I don't love myself...

My Breaths

I cant think, I cant breathe
The weight keeps weighing me down
Most things are better untold,
I'm afraid you're going to leave

I fight, I try but in my own way
I don't understand...
Too ,much to be kept
I'm afraid I'll break

I'm losing every battle I've fought
I fight being attached
It never works...
I can't think, I can't breathe

Constant rage and hurt-
My disguise is unable to keep
I'm afraid I'll lose myself
Lead myself down this road again

I let the truth out
Only to get shut down
I tried to be everything
I tried to be me

Nothing works
I'm falling apart- one by one
All I do is hurt
I can't think, I can't breathe

If this isn't the truth
tell me why
Tell me I don't hurt
Make me not hate myself

I can't think, I can't breathe
I keep hurting so bad
The weight weighing me down...
But I love you

Opposites attract

I'm slipping
Fighting to breathe in your world
Every where I step, I'm tripping
With a hard grip on reality; my fingers curled

The bar you've set for me, too high to reach
My fingers stretched, straining off my toes
I find myself tied to a leash
Within everything, my feelings are all exposed

I wish everything was simple
Falling in love is easy
Trust is what makes me falter
Love isn't ever enough

I haven't found my path,
You ask what the hell happened to me
How I've grown to be so cold
I'll tell you to look into the mirror

When you're around,
I can hardly breathe
I'm bound to break down
I fall onto my knees

Heart racing, palms scratched
Gasping for air, every binding broken
I can barely breathe
I find myself becoming more and more attached
The words begin to go unspoken
I'm coming undone...

You've been my light
I've been your darkness
You've been the sun
I've been the shadow

Opposites attract,
Fire versus ice
Hot versus cold
Light versus dark
Love versus lust
You versus me

I've found myself falling in love,
You're my light as I am your darkness-
Together, we are bound.