Never Releasing

Million miles apart
Thoughts weigh heavy upon the heart
Irregular rhythm to note the distance
There's only one existence
Never changing and going forward; always a step behind
Reaching to where we will be; "Once upon a time(d)"
Struggling to resist to cease
Every thought of you, my heart rate increase
Fingers; never touching
However, you, in my fingers tightly clutching
Never releasing-
Afraid to continue ceasing
You're mine and I, yours
Secret Keepers in its' entirety.

Winter Wonderland

Snow on the ground,she picks up her dress
Corsage on her wrist;
Flowers in the curliness of her hair
Natasha sways in each step;
Her hand in mine
A perfect match
Snowflakes hang in the air
Music flow as we spin round and round
Her dress turquoise as her birthstone
Beautiful revenge;
Against Phillip and his new buck-teethed girl
Her smile so big, it's contagious
Her task is complete;
All I want to do is spin her the night away.


*Side note: A while ago, Brad asked me to do a poem with the name of Natasha and Phillip and their relationship conflict; this is what I came up with. Me being the third point of view of a guy who just wanted to make her happy. (This is what I hope is the way most guys think toward women!) But anyways, I thought it was amazing and decided to add it here.

Secret

Luscious lips
Bleeding crimson
Vengeful kisses stolen
Lips sought the nape of her neck
Sweet perspiration salty upon the tongue
Moans escape her throat
Proving her loss of self-control
Silent tears roll down her cheeks
Hand-in-hand,
Bound of secrets not meant to keep-
Always left wanting,
Needing more
But the secret has her bound-
As every lips has a secret kiss.

*Side note: This is just a random poem I got after reading the "city of Bones" series. The love Jace and Clary have for each other was really empowering to read about. If you haven't read it- GO! Get the book, it's seriously amazing to read.

Petals in the wind

Two roses of love-
With thorns of flaws

One of blood red-
Red for passionate

One of white-
White for purity

Two intertwining-
Interlocking a bond of trust

Two differences-
Together form strength

One petal from each-
Both a single promise

You & me.

One

One more hour-
I'm almost out
One more day-
It's creeping up fast
One more week-
Just another memory
One more month-
What's another?
One more year-
How much longer?
One more decade-
No chance of turning back the clock
Just one more eternity-
It's all over.


*Side note: I was at work and was thinking A LOT. At first it started out about work, but in the end it became about life. Work is my life I suppose...

Battles Within

I'm not as innocent as I look
People seem to think I'm readable as a book;
As if they know what I'm thinking.

If I'm sad, it's never for the reason they think they know;
Angry but I keep it all inside.

I know the outcome of my depression;
I'm the only one the blame.

Am I as fragile as I seem?
I'm not that easy to break;
If only they knew what I held every day.

A battle introverted and extroverted;
I'm fighting both sides that I'm losing.

I come with shards of glass-
No one will ever be able to piece them together again;
They know what I want them to know.

Incapable of knocking walls down-
I've barricaded myself;
If I'm screaming- they'll never know.

They'll never know who I am completely;
Because I'll never be able to save myself.


*Side note: This was back when I first finally got my anti-depressants. I had really, really needed them and still do. They help- A LOT but it's still hard. Every one still tend to think I'm breakable. I'm a lot stronger and getting there every day. The first step is admitting you have a problem with something and it's not something that's easily fixable. I have a lot of issues with myself and with my past. Deafness is still currently one but one I wish to resolve happily and peacefully because I really do need to come to terms with it and just accept that it's a part of me which is very difficult to do because I'm still angry about it. I do wish I could hear a lot more, but I have benefited a bit from being deaf. I know sign language, I can read lips, I know how to talk and I can hear quite a bit with the assistance of my Cochlear Implant which is a lot more than a lot of deaf people can say. It's sad to know they've never heard music but it's not like they can't communicate. Communicating with your hands is beautiful. I love signing, I miss it but I'm really shy to do it publicly without another deaf person to confer with. I do tend to talk out loud as I sign, but it's easier for me when it's with another deaf person because they NEED me to sign.

Mirrored

I'm afraid;
I'm confused.

Terrified of being asked, "Who are you?"
Answering my name with a question;
Krissy?

Dig a little deeper,
What's in my closet?
Am I real or a mirrored image of who I think I am?
Is my love as strong as I feel?
Or what about the one before it;
And before that?

Am I too intense, too forward?
Wanting to lead two different lives;
Every day it's this one, the next it's something else
Do I jump head first?
What if it wasn't any of it?
Do I intentionally hurt people unknowingly?
Did I do it out of love or out of spite?
Questions, endless questions
How do I live as who I am when I don't know?
But I do know;
I'm just scared.


*Side note:
I found this a while ago from a few years back. Really hit hard when I read it, knowing how I felt then and now I feel now. I'm not scared at all anymore, I do mostly know who I am BUT I'm still working on the rough draft of me.

Every time

Every smile you make,
is a smile that I dream of
Every tear you shed,
is a tear I wish to wipe
Every laugh you make,
is a laugh I want to laugh with you
Every hurt you ever felt,
is the sound of my hear breaking
Every dream you have,
is a dream I want to fulfill
Every kiss you give,
is a kiss I never want to end
Every touch you make,
is a touch I love to feel
Every time you say "I love you",
is the moment my love grows stronger
I promise to love you forever.

Crimson Tears

The days never seem to change,
Always bleak
Each day that began anew-
Always left deeper scars
Craving more, unable to let go
The blade seemly glued to my hand
These scars all over my body,
My silent screams of crimson
Never heard, never understood
Continuously drowning-
Extremity of highs and lows
I never seem to change
These crimson tears are meant to be stained

Vicious Circle

Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every second, every minute
My thoughts- always with you
Tick-tock, tick-tock
How much longer?
Loosening the grip
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every minute, every hour
Constant worry- about you
How do I hold on?
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every hour, every second
Never ending, continuous
Any escape, tell me now
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every second, every minute
An endless countdown
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every minute, every hour
I'm a ticking time bomb

Lifeless

Endless noise block out the surrounding
The screaming river bounty of life
There a woman knelt-
Hands in her face, knees sodden of mud
The world heavily burdened upon her shoulders
Her dress- torn
No one knows of her as she wept
Her fate grasped-
Yet slipping into the water between her fingers
Her heart- broken
She has fallen,
Lifeless.




Weeping over broken words-
Will lead you to loneliness
The path not taken have you lost
Strength isn't what determines,
Actions speak louder than words
Plowing your way through endless nights
The world is at your feet,
But if you worry about the path not taken,
Eternal sleep will lift the world above your head.

Scarred

Remember the fears
The strongest fallen to their weakest,
Everywhere, blood and tears
The day full of ashes and bleakest moments

People crying, people jumping out of buildings
Fire fighters pulling people left and right
Police men and women struggling to bring back order
The world silent with screams and sirens

Planes forced to land
Halifax stepped up with their hospitality
Save the stranded, save the missing
A forced disaster wreaked havoc

Children grown up,
Without their moms or dads
Some of the best moments stolen
Children awed in fear, adults screaming brokenhearted
9/11 changed the meaning of the abbreviation
Even still today, we live in fear

Beautiful twin towers once stood so strong and proud
Quickly vanished within a blink
Terrorized across the nation, across Canada and more
Living in a shadow always trying to find the light

Moments in life stolen,
Remember exactly where you were
Ten years gone by,
We have come to embrace our darkness

Middle school;
Teachers came in with a TV
We sat in silence as we watched
Two planes, two towers
All gone

Lives changed in a blink of an eye,
Forever became new and scary
Children learned fear

Thankful for the firemen for fighting for lives
Thankful for the police for fighting to help
Thankful for the doctors who struggled to save lives
Thankful for all those who survived
Saddened for the fallen, memories never forgotten

Wounds slowly healing across the countries
But forever scarred in history.
9/11/2001 - 9/11/2011

Masquerade

Red curtains have drawn
The audience waiting to be awed
All loose ends tied,
Your emotions set aside
You've been strung along
Sicken the audience with your song
Your master awaits!-
For your beauty is to be admired
By more than one, you are desired
Roses of red, tied black with a bow-
Lands at your feet after every show
The master has controlled your fate
You've been picked and cleaned as bait
Sing and dance,
Lead the master into your trance-
For you are his Carlotta,
And he is your master!
Your red lips bleed,
While his heart is full of greed
Misery was his only company,
Lead to believe you were truly his own
Sullen music befalls:
His twisted fate was by chance,
Death by your hand-
The master has been played.

Piece of my Heart

Just for a little while,
I allow my heart to break
Treading upon mental photographs of your smile,
Sleepless dreams cause me to lie awake
Tears begin to roll,
And memories flood my mind
That day has taken its toll,
All emotions forced to be confined
A million pieces shattered,
A piece of my past gone
But one key held on for this day,
Unlocking the door to imagination
Back to when we all liked to play,
I was always one for declaration-
Of innocence, magic and of love
We grew up and broke away
Of our childhood, we were able to be let go of
Our friendship was led astray
One day, you went above and beyond reach,
Leaving us all to miss you and to move on
You were always one for speeches,
To push us to strive for what our lives were built upon
Four years past,
Not a day where someone doesn't think about you goes by
All these memories, will lead your life to last,
It had always been your time to fly high.


I miss you <3

155-24-55

Tree branches bare of leaves. Summer had arrived and gone quickly as fall came. The grass had grown hard and bumpy. Dark clouds loomed above as the wind blew harshly; chafing cheeks of children being held tightly to their mothers' bosoms. The usual bustle in the streets had ceased. Summers were for markets and cheerful conversations as well as parties. These days, no one stopped to speak to one another, every one posed as a threat.

Fallen leaves rustled as I walked. I paused to look about the scenery that had become so sullen. Grief has gripped the city. Terror and hatred in the eyes of adults, children frightened but oblivious and innocent. I wondered aloud, "What has this city come to... ?" As I pondered, a shrieking scream came from behind. Nobody stopped, nobody turned. They all kept bustling on by, trying to get away from whatever trouble has occurred now. I turned around and headed toward the scream. Quickening the pace, I reached the house as the screams grew. Without rapping on the door, I shoved it open.

"Get out! Out!" a young girl cried out. Shoving me back out the door, I grabbed her wrist.

"Tell me what's wrong. I can help you."

"No! No you can't! Nobody can- LEAVE! Before HE comes back!"

"Are you hurt? What are you talking about?" I lightened my grip, trying to assure her that everything will be alright.

Tears flowed down her cheeks, "No. It isn't me. I mustn't tell. Please, please leave."

I wanted to contact the authorities, but with this country being reigned by tyranny, that's damn near impossible. Everything is crumbling underneath its' feet. Economy has seen a major decline, causing people to lose their jobs and homes. Unmarried women were not allowed to be seen without a man attending her. For God's sake, they're not even allowed a damned cellphone but yet bachelor men are allowed. A woman getting raped is ruined forever; banished from her family and sent to suffer on her own. What has become of us? We were once so strong and powerful. So free. So much has changed, now we are living in the purity of hell. We're England for Gods' sake! We're not Russia!

I gave the girl one last nod, turned to the street and walked away. Moments after, I looked back and seen she had slammed the door shut, drawing the curtains closed and turned out the lights.

I bowed my head in shame. I should of forced help upon her. I would have if she had let me. I knew, the terror in her green eyes will haunt me in my sleep.

I went on my way. The streets now clearer and the sun had set. The wind grew harsher. I drew the collar to my jacket up to shield my face. I quickened the pace as if I had a purpose.

Arriving the two story brick building by the river of Thames, I fumbled with getting the key through its rusty lock. The building worn, slanted to the right has been getting to its final days. I pushed open the door and climbed up the flight to my office.; 68 in big brass numbers. My name slid into the slot placed neatly underneath, JUDE MASON, it read.

I thrust open my wooden door that never quite fit into its frame. Heading toward the center of the room, I stumbled over things left astray, reaching to pull the chain off the light bulb to the ceiling. The paint had turned yellowish and the ceiling begun to peel. I slumped into my green chair. I'll never get rid of the damned thing; its even got foam coming out of the side. My elbows leaning off the desk, I cupped my face into my palms. The stress of the day has reached its toll.

I opened my eyes, the sun streaking through the dusty blinds. I sighed, "fell asleep at the desk again..." I got up, went over to the old coffee maker I've had for years. Gulping down the lukewarm coffee black, I tossed the cup onto the desk and headed out for the day.

Moments later, I didn't realize where I had wound up. The house from last night loomed in front of me, abandoned. The windows broken, the door barely hung off its hinges. The lawn was disastrous, full of debris. One would wonder how much worse it is on the inside. Without hesitating, I strode up the stony steps once again. I walked through the doorway, carefully looking about the living room for any sign of life. The coffee table was overturned, papers were scattered all over the floor among broken glass. Picture frames laid forgotten and empty. I turned to the right of the room, looking toward what seemed to be the kitchen, but as I glanced, I saw another doorway. Droppings of red led a trail on the old splintered floor. Quietly, I walked down the hall, pausing only to be sure nothing or no one was behind me.

I picked up a piece of wood from a broken chair, just in case. Peering into the room starting from the front to the center. Everything was destroyed. A bloody mess laid at the side of the room. I shrugged furiously, backed out of the room and continued on down the hall; only at this point, rushing. I shoved each door, trying to search for clues. I was stumped. Angrily, I wished I brought my Nixon. I took a last sweep of the house before leaving. I knew who was behind this, but yet I couldn't prove it. On my way out, I saw something black from a peripheral view. Bent to the side of the couch, pulling out a black object. I shoved it into my pocket and left.

Back in the office, in the dimmed light I leaned into the back of my chair. The wallet sat on the center of the desk, unopened. I contemplated whether to open it or not. Thought I might as well, whoever was missing it doesn't seem to be coming back. I flipped through the card holders, everything was gone. Empty. Except for a piece of paper tucked in the corner neatly. It read: 155-24-55.

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That day had been the worst of the worst. Jude Mason had suddenly appeared in my life through voice mail after years of no contact. None of which made sense. All he said was "155-24-55." It had to be important, otherwise why would he contact me out of the blue. I hadn't expected to ever hear from him again. I slammed my BlackBerry down. Shoving aside the piles after piles of cases waiting to be filed. How was I supposed to get all this done? I headed to the sixteenth floor, demanding to speak to the Director of B.A.U. The secretary kept saying he was in a meeting and can only be seen through appointment. He was a "very busy man these days." I stormed out of the reception area, only to hide behind a plant. Waiting for the woman to turn her back, I ran for the doors. I entered a long hallway, reminding me of an old hospital. I passed the room that held an meeting, after peering through the window, I kept on. The name "DAN PETERSON: DIRECTOR OF B.A.U." screamed at me. I glanced around, pulling loose a bobby pin from my hair and picked the lock.

Upon entrance, I stole into the room. Brightly colors beckoned me, clearly designed to be "Feng shui." I rummaged through his desk and cabinetry. Several empty bottles of spirits hidden in the bottom drawer. "Disgusting!" I uttered under my breath. After finding the key I was searching for, in the bathroom of all places. I started to leave. But not before a black marked name stood out on a brown folder, "JUDE GRAHAMS," it read; Mason's old last name. Mason had changed his last name after his wife died and moved away. Why would Peterson have this? I photocopied every document in the folder, shoved them up my shirt and left.

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I cursed under my breath, tearing a piece off my shirt to dab my wounds. Grime and dirt was all over my body. "Where the hell are you?" I sat down a bench in the gloomy train station, the light ahead flickering. I flipped through the wallet again as I had many times before earlier in the day. Jansen popped in my mind. Has she found out what I meant yet? If anyone could figure it out, it's Jansen.

Subway trains came and went. Never did I glance to see if it might have been the one I was waiting for. Perhaps I didn't know what I was waiting for. A title, "MURDER IN THE CITY, LONDONY! TWO FOUND DEAD!" screamed from a newspaper that was dated a few days ago. The rough feel of paper slid through my fingers. I licked my thumb to peel back to the third page. Scanning for whatever news I may have missed in my lead, which was nothing. Still was nothing. All it was about was how it was suspicious and probably "related" to gang wars. Bull fucking shit. The murders were of a man and a woman. Bodies found half a block away from Saratoga Drive, the house I was at recently.

Nothing. Nothing about HER. Her eyes pierced my dreams every night. The wavy black hair, pale and terror stricken face. WHERE is she?! Surely, she's got to turn up somewhere. They're after her, WHOEVER they are.

"Hey! Hey you! Give me your wallet!" somebody yelled.

Frustratingly, I whipped out my badge. "Do you really want to go down that road?" I snapped back. The man had run away, and rightfully so too. I hadn't had the patience to deal with anyone lately. My whole life resolves around this girl. I have to find her. SOON.

To the upper right corner on the wall on the left side of me, near the tunnel that allowed the trains to go through, sat a huge prison-like clock. Quarter to 5 A.M. it read. It's no wonder the station was deserted. People get killed all the time out here at this ungodly hour. A loud crash sounded around the corner. Quickly, I scrambled to my feet, staring at the direction where it came from. A dark figure appeared beckoning, "come,Grahams come," then disappeared into the darkness.

on contrary to disbelief, HOW did they know my name? My old name at that. I haven't gone as Grahams for YEARS.

On my guard, I followed unwillingly. I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and shouted, "come out so I can see you!" No answer replied. Regretting what I was about to do, I took off into the darkness.

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I was amazed. Absolutely amazed at what that folder documented. Fucking unbelievable. Peterson had Mason followed for the last few years; if not decade. Pictures of Mason out to eat, talking to strangers. The worst was of him crying over his late wife's grave. So fucking deplorable. At my desk, I scanned all the texts on him. Relaying where he came and went. It was sickening, why the hell would Peterson of all people be tracking Mason? Did he think Mason had something to hide? Did Peterson have something to hide? My mind began to wander... what if Mason had a dark secret? No. I shook my head. "No. I cannot think of Mason like that." I scolded myself.

Mason and I had once been involved. We worked together before I came to the agency. We ran into tons of cases and called each other up at any moment without doubt. I cannot abandon my old partner. Mason, once Grahams upon a time, had gone through such an ordeal he couldn't even talk to me about. Then he met her, his would be wife- Darla Montgomery. He broke all things off, work and personal. Once he had married, he ceased phone calls and all together. The way he's come into contact was weird, yes... but I was glad he called. I am. He wouldn't have unless it was absolutely necessary. So, now what? What am I missing?!

I went over the pictures, scanning for anything I may of missed. What was the importance of these photos that Peterson had taken? What am I missing?! Sighing, I tossed them aside and went for the coffee that sat on my desk. RINGGGGG....RINGGGGG...RINGGGGG.... Startled, I spilled the cup all over my files. "SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" I attempted to wipe off the contents with a shirt. Reaching for the phone, "Jansen here, make it quick."

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 I woke up to darkness. I slept in darkness. It seemed that's all there was. Disoriented, I had no way of telling the time or day or even the week. How long have I've been here? Where is here? What the fuck. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the concrete room I was in. The floor I was lying on was grimy, full of God knows what; the room had no windows. Then it hit me, I was being kept prisoner. Against my will, my body succumbed into yet another medicated sleep.

Whether hours or the day or merely seconds had past, I wouldn't know. I awoke to voices across the room; intelligible to make out what they were speaking about. Hell, was that even a language? I need to escape. I am dying of thirst. My head, my head hurts. I need to get out of here.... I need to get out... I helplessly closed my eyes once again. "Jansen, please.... Jansen" I whispered.

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Puppet Master

Moments seem to slip by
Mirrors never show what I wish to see
Waiting for the other shoe to drop,
Always frozen, deep in thought
Insanity awaits round the corner
Hidden, but always waiting
riddles dance in my head,
Merry go-round tinkles as it plays
Nightmarish dreams come alive
Sweat trickle down my neck
Constant running, but planted in place
No escape as the curtain has been drawn
Strung along like puppets,
Emotion-less and detached
Menacing laughter fill the room
Sickening sweet music drones on
Faceless bodies, one after another
Slowly deteriorating
Flames licking the sides of the stage, trapped
Left to no means of awakening
Trapped in the hellish nightmare of my mind
Coldness and surreal, loss of control
Never ending and ever changing-
Finally giving in...

Baby face

& then I hear you say baby face,
My world falls apart to pieces
But yet you're keeping me together-
How is it that you stand so strong,
When I know all you want to do is to fall
I wanna be the one-
To hold you tall,
I don't wanna be the reason- to tear you apart
You're the strength that keeps me going,
My reason for waking and enduring another day
Without you, there is no me
Baby, lets not fight-
Just hold me tight for the rest of our life
I love you, I love YOU <3

Safe

Raw emotion-
Seldom shown
Slight touches: goosebumps
Poker face continuously
Unreadable, unknown
Hiding, running
How do you know?
Skittish, avoidable
Stone walls built
Frozen in state
Feeling naked;
Surrounded, no escape
Stuck in a full embrace
Safe.

Without a Care

Rain falling
Dancing in the streets
Spinning bare feet- arms stretched wide
Splattering across my face
Soaking the moment, smiling ear to ear
Shoulders light, without a care in the world
The sky is crying for me tonight
But instead I'm light on my feet-
Singing my favorite song
The world's mine tonight.

Imprinted

Constantly running-
Will I ever catch my breath?
Tripping over every obstacle-
Is there any escape?
I'm in over my head-
Will there be room to breathe?
Your poisonous venom seeps through-
Will my heart ever be the same?
Like every touch, my body remembers-
Is there a chance I'll ever forget?
The brush of your hair, your sweet scent-
Why does my body scream for more?
A single touch, my body shivers-
I'll always want more from you
Weeping for some security-
I'll never be the same again.

Endlessly

Would it be okay-
If I fell apart.
Would your heart hurt-
If I shut down
Would you be okay-
If I went away
Would you break-
If I couldn't stay today
What if I-
Said I couldn't handle this
Would you care?
Would you chase me?
Or would you say good bye?

Breakable

Breakable;
Never thought I'd be the one making mistakes
Continuously begging for forgiveness,
The knees in my pants has been worn out
Constant screaming and headaches
An internal battalion ongoing;
Unreachable and unable to contain-
Expressionless face; emotionless
Full of energy, unable to show
Head held high until you've finally cracked it;
Walls crumbling that was once infallible
Once secure, now fragile;
Breakable.

Stand still

Every step I take
Is a step I just want to break
The world weighing upon my shoulders,
How much more can I carry?
Drowning in a pool of nothingness-
Was it all just my imagination?
Crying out continuously
Does it even matter at this point?
Fighting the urge to pull everything deep inside
Shoving it down, only to explode
Leading the path to be stuck in stasis...
No escape, no relief
Stand still for eternity.

Rock Bottom

Weighing in everybody's thoughts
Do what's right or what's cool
Pressure heavy upon the shoulders
A boulder hanging above my head
Smoking up a chimney to forget
Pass it around or lose your 'friends'
Waste the big bucks on brand names
When you could be playing games or scoring girls
First impressions- make or break
Prove your strength or accept defeat
Breaking and entering-
What a thrill (how pathetic)
Gotta stay on top of the social ladder
Rock bottom is for losers
And I'm a winner

Barricaded

Barricaded
Stuck like a bird in a cage
Walls incapable of being broken through
Sighs of relief-
My secrets are safe
"Who am I?"- do you even know?
Am I as fragile as you seem to think?
"Tough as nails"- wouldn't you like to know?
Every moment, the weight increases
"Is this real?"- perhaps
Dreams torture me night after night
"How do I escape?"- no end in sight
Constant battle- both sides are losing
Feet directly planted in quicksand
First impressions- make or break
"It's always either love or hate"- why not both?
Head strong, never breaking
Never a moment of weakness- split second
Truth or lies- which is better?
It's now or never, I've let you in
Too late or too soon- time never wins
Is this me or is this you?
No escape- barricaded.

Just like Lightning

On days like these we could explode,
But we're each other's detonator
One second tells us to stop
But the next could blow
You hold me in limbo
Into a place I never want to escape
I get angry, you get angry
We get calm in a split second
Grab my hands and don't let go
I'm wearing my heart on my wrist
Trusting you so much not to break
Cause I don't know how much to take
I don't want to escape
Grip on tighter and I'll lead the way
Into a place you've never gone before
Spin round and round-
You hold me so high, I never want to fall down
Pick the pieces but don't leave the sharp ones behind
They're what make us, us
Sunshine and rainbows-
The world nor too bright or bleak
But with you, it's complete

Such a dreamer

Are you such a dreamer tonight
Do you follow the light
When it's beckoning for you to come
Reach the rainbow's end
Is there just about anything left to defend
What do you do when there's an outcry
Is the world black and white to you,
Or is that just me
I wanna color the rain that falls on my face
Run with daisies up in my hair
Barefoot in the sweet grass
Jump on shooting stars and sail on Haley's Comet
Dance along with the wind that blows your hair
Are you such a dreamer, that you're holding on tight
Laughter carried along, the sound of love in the air
Are you such a dreamer tonight?

Lost

Grasping at straws
Missing puzzle pieces
Rain without a rainbow
Sunshine nowhere to be seen
A lone hand missing its' perfect match
Never ending gloom
More muscles used to frown
A smile absent from the eyes
Will the day ever end to begin anew?

Lies You Spew

I'm a drama queen,
I'm a mess
But not that you should care
Doesn't surprise me
Why should it cause I don't care
Used to it-
I could scream
I could cry
But it would fall on deafer ears than mine
Not that I care
Because I don't
Ill just laugh it all away
You think you're better than me
But I know better
I even know you're just a jerk
Another loser
Go cry to your mama
Cause I don't care
Your head full of lies
That your mouth spews
But honey, I don't care
Cause I know better

Mood Swings

I wish you would recognize
The girl I could be
Recognize the girl I am
Instead of fighting to be noticed
I don't stand out
Or have the independence I desire
I wish I could pull deep inside
Bring everything I've locked up
Just like pieces of broken glass
I'm strewn about
Nearly incapable of putting back together
Unable to release
I wanna let it go
Everything builds up
Let out a scream but you never notice
I wanna be important
At least shown it
Tearing apart, one by one
Frustrated
I don't want to care
Just tell me what it is
I can't handle this,
I can't handle being me.

Snow

White, fluffy
Falling from the sky
Stick your tongue out
Cold flakes melt
All over the ground
Trees heavily filled
Winter Wonderland

Harsh, angry winds
Zero visibility
Wrapped up tight
Cold, wet, exhausting
Slipping and falling
Piled high
Too surrounded
Ugly storm

Jumping, laughing
Sliding, throwing about
Playing games
Fluff in the air
Covered upon Soxy's nose
Barks of excitement
Come out and play!
Soxy's playground

Change

Its alright
Don't say a word
Ill tear myself apart
Listen to my silent screams
I'm thrashing inside
A battle I cannot win-
The battle within
I can't
Keep walking, keep pushing
Hold on
I can't let go
No escape
It wants to be free
Enraging beast
Tell it no more
I can't fight
Useless, full of ice
Searing flames scorch my icy veins
I cant-
I can't change.

(Jan 23)

Shredded

Torn apart-
Piece by piece
I'm drowning
Fighting constantly
Throw me the life line
I want to run-
Kicking and screaming
Pull me out,
I can't escape
Only thing I want-
Slipping through my fingers
Stuck in quicksand,
Where are you?
Living in the past
Present and future is too scary
I need you,
Running out of words
I want to be alive-
Not like this
Why won't you save me?
Everything inside wants out
I can't repress it much longer
I need to hold on-
I can't do this!
Don't let the beast free.
Shredded.

Heart Attack

Breathe-
Blood pressure escalates
Beating as fast as a humming bird
I see you
My heart slows
Body heavy
Feeling light headed-
I miss you

Remembering You

Feelings of dread
Reaching into the dark hole
Full of despair
Thoughts creep back
The mirror image of you appear,
Nobody's there
Shattered glass
And I fall to pieces
Remembering you.

Read me like a Book.

Years go by as the seasons change
Talk all night, sleep all day
Our thoughts' continuous exchange
All talk, no foul play
Venting takes away all pain
Laughter persists cause nobody gets you and I
With you, there's no feelings I could feign
Nobody else can keep me on such a high
In one angle, the world gets to see what I allow
With you, my barriers shed away
Instead of losing grips on reality,
You keep me fighting to stay
Our lives parallel to one another
They will never understand,
Secret keepers to no other
There's nothing we can't withstand
Friends until the end,
Unless the dragons come to be slain
And colors begin to fade
There will always be you and I.