Best friends

They laugh at you when you fall down
Pick you up only to make your ass do it again
Push you around and tease you
Make you laugh til you cry
Dance to the music and singing at the top of your lungs
Make you do things you'd never do alone
Confide in and cry to when you need them there
Tell whoever broke your heart that they're gonna kick their ass
Make you smile when you're dying inside
Act retarded with you and think nothing of it
Completely and utterly your true friends

Bath

Burst of laughter
Splashes of water
Soapy heads
Playing with toys
Water all over the floor
Singing "scrub a dub, dub"
I love my rubber ducky,
Bath time is fun!

Lie

Heart breaking
Unreal
Wanna pretend she never existed

Insane
Unbelievable
There's gotta be a way
To unlove you

Forgive but not forget
My heart's begging me not to give up,
To find a way to make this right
But my dignity is telling me
I gotta walk away

Chorus
I gotta do what I gotta do
There's nothing left to say
What's done is done
I've gotta severe all ties
Gotta break my own heart
Tear myself up and rip it apart
Because you don't love me
I gotta do what I gotta do
I gotta walk away

Giving up a fight
and walking away
It takes all of me not to turn around
Forget everything
Just to unlove you

Forget what makes me melt
Your eyes, lips and touch
Emotions
Broken
I wish I could turn into stone
Just to unlove you

Chorus
I gotta do what I gotta do
There's nothing left to say
What's done is done
I've gotta severe all ties
Gotta break my own heart
Tear myself up and rip it apart
Because you don't love me
I gotta do what I gotta do
I gotta walk away

Forgive but not forget
My heart's begging me not to give up,
To find a way to make this right
But my dignity is telling me
I gotta walk away

I gotta look at you
Tell you, I don't love you
I gotta walk away
No choice but to lie
Tell you, I don't love you
You hurt me so bad,
Threw away everything we had

Chorus
I gotta do what I gotta do
There's nothing left to say
What's done is done
I've gotta severe all ties
Gotta break my own heart
Tear myself up and rip it apart
Because you don't love me
I gotta do what I gotta do
I gotta walk away

There's gotta be a way
To make myself forget
Can't keep on loving
Gotta be a way to unlove you
I gotta walk away

Crying over the truth or smiling over a lie?

Which is better?
Crying over the truth,
Or smiling over a lie?
Knowing that the truth hurts but someday you will heal
But the longer a lie goes, the longer it will take to get over it
Though, I've always wondered
What if the truth was so bad, that you'd never recover?
Your heart gets broken and your whole perspective on life changes
You go from being you to someone who is broken,
Empty and full of sadness
Smiling over a lie has its perks,
You don't shed a tear
You believe you are truly happy,
But is it worth it?
Living a lie?
It could destroy you
What if crying over the truth never ends?
The pain of knowing just continues
So you tell me,
Which is better,
Crying over the truth or smiling over a lie?

She knows we belong

I sit and contemplate,
Telling myself that it has to get better somehow
It can't get any worse where I'm so numb inside
Can't feel much of anything
Except the pain when she creeps into my mind
I keep on trying to be strong,
This hold on me that she's got isn't letting up
I know for a certain, she knows we belong
I try to stand up and be strong
Keep on spiraling straight to the bottom
Fighting every chance I've got
Losing myself along the way
Cause each day I wake,
I realize it's another day without her
Losing her more and more
With every step of the way
It has to get better somehow
I can't keep letting it be this way,
I don't know how it got to be this bad
I keep on fighting and leaving behind the tears
Somehow it'll be okay,
Cause I know for a certain, she knows we belong.

A Vengence for Revenge

Escaping reality
Running from the truth
Hiding behind shades of lies
Holding back and fighting your heart,
Wanting and needing are two different things
Desire to be held,
Knowing that they want it too
But you must choose
Follow your responsibilities
Because you were taught to do so,
Avoiding your true love,
Tears shed and the heart aches
Fighting back your emotions,
Just to be numb,
To take over all control
Must protect others before yourself
"They come first"
Dreaming of having both,
Of escaping reality
And living in the truth instead of lies.
True love is lost
The fighting chance and only memories have vanished
Everything is gone.
Her true love has been ripped away
She had chosen responsibility over love
As did he.
Tears shed,
Anger and hurt infuriates and takes over
Losing all control and reasoning
Her love is gone,
All purpose has disappeared with him
But her vengence for revenge had strengthened,
Responsibility and the life she had chosen,
Is overthrown
"They come first" is rejected
Not now, she needs herself.
Running toward the truth,
For what she knows she has to do,
Between life and death,
And the promise she had given
Life only has one purpose,
And that is to kill.

Blood red

Given a rose with blood red petals,
Sharp thorns prick your fingers
But its the most beautiful thing you've ever seen,
Its so beautiful and so painful at the same time
The first petal began to fall,
Everyday it gets harder to breathe
Hard to get up in the morning
And to realize its another day
Without breathing in the scent,
Seeing and hearing her voice,
Nothing magical fills my heart
Forced to be cold blooded and hard,
Unable to pick up my own pieces
For they keep shattering repeatedly
She's my rose,
Pretty to look at
But will prick you and make you bleed
The final petal has withered away.

The road not yet taken

Thoughts and words idle by
Dreams of such wonder get shoved into a box,
Thrown into the drawer and locked away
Obsessing about the what if's
Taking this path instead of the other
Choosing something you know
Instead of experiencing the unknown
Things get missed out and lost upon
Sometimes stepping out of the safety box
Gets you to somewhere absolutely amazing
Or it takes you to pure hell
Either way, the unknown gives you experiences
Wondering if I should unlock my dreams
Go explore them even when it may bring me down
I can't leave it as the road not yet taken,
The desire of going and wanting to experience
Burns inside of me
It's time to step out of my safety box
To explore and be free!

Ophelia

Forbidden love by father and the King
Warned to avoid my one true to thee,
Out of fear for he does not truly love
My maddened lover be midnight secrecy,
Clothing askew and a hellish expression upon his face
Forbidden to see my love,
Father claiming he is lovesick over me
"To be or not to be" (1)
My love shouts at me, "I say we have no mo marriages"(2)
He has gone,
Left me bewildered and broken
Sure knowledge that he has gone insane
Confusion and hurt once he said "a woman's love is brief" (3)

Gone mad with anger and hurt
Twice caused by the same man, by her love
Father had been killed by the man who she claimed to love
Riddles and rhymes, and songs of death and losing virginity
Blesses everyone and makes her silent exit
Climbs branches that tear away her gown,
They've been broken before and in sorrow she drowns

The Queen questions,
"Incapable of her own distress" (4)
Claimed she had gone insane,
Her brother, Laertes refuses to believe the truth;
Committed suicide

The Queen Gertrude sprinkles flowers over the grave,
Wishes that she could have been Hamlet's wife,
Her daughter-in-law
Laertes says no man has ever loved his sister as he
But her love,Prince Hamlet, challenges,
Loved Ophelia more than "forty thousand brothers" (5) could

** All the bracket numbers and the quotations are from the play "Hamlet" by Shakespeare.

Awaiting for arrival of life

On a red bench in the cold
The glass exterior of the stop
Prevents the harsh winds
Grey skies bring gloomy days
Snow on the ground
Bare branches look dreary
Tired of wintry days
Waiting for spring to come
For grass and flowers to burst
Trees to be filled with life and leaves
To feel renewed along with blue skies
The anticipation of spring
Cannot come soon enough!

Icarus

Bright blue eyes,
Hair golden like the sun
Pearly white wings fledged from the mid of his back
Sewn together with feathers
Looking down below,
Villagers going about their day
Viewing the amorous sky,
He felt the desire, the need to soar
Without thought, he jumped!
Spread his wings and soared high
High toward the hot sun,
The sun that instantaneously melted his wings
The beautiful boy fell
Spiraling down straight into the water
Villagers gaped for only a moment,
Before they turned their eyes
And then went on with their day
Icarus has fallen.


*This poem is based off the following information below that I took from:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icarus


Escape from Crete:
Icarus' father, Daedalus, a talented craftsman, attempted to escape from his exile in Crete, where he and his son were imprisoned at the hands of King Minos, the king for whom he had built the Labyrinth to imprison the Minotaur (part man, part bull). Daedalus, the master craftsman, was exiled because he gave Minos' daughter, Ariadne, a clew of string in order to help Theseus, enemy of Minos, survive the Labyrinth and defeat the Minotaur.

Daedalus fashioned two pairs of wings out of wax and feathers for himself and his son. Before they took off from the island, Daedalus warned his son not to fly too close to the sun, nor too close to the sea. Overcome by the giddiness that flying lent him, Icarus soared through the sky curiously, but in the process he came too close to the sun, which melted the wax. Icarus kept flapping his wings but soon realized that he had no feathers left and that he was only flapping his bare arms. And so, Icarus fell into the sea in the area which bears his name, the Icarian Sea near Icaria, an island southwest of Samos.[1]

Comet

A girl stands outside
In the cool breeze of the night
Looks up at the sky
All of these stars shining bright
She looks into the telescope
Seeing nothing that she desires
Standing impatient
Waiting for something that may never arrive
But she will wait forever
Believing that someday
Her comet will come;
My comet will come.

fighting chance

Holding onto something special
Something that once existed
And extremely beautiful
Sometimes wishing I could let go
But she's so exquisite that I
Couldn't ever begin to do so.
Holding onto something
And fighting all you've got
Holding onto nothing
But a dream, isn't worth fighting for
Something that never existed and never will
Only lead to broken hearts.
Fighting for something that was true,
May lead to broken hearts
But, you've still got her
In your heart, forever.
I'm not giving up every little piece
I had of you,
Fighting chance for love.

Emergency room

Emergency room
Got a broken heart
You left me messages
Trying to apologize
Kisses don't lie
But now I know
This is the last time
Forget it baby,
It's not happening
You messed with my head
You wanted her and
Then you got played
First it was me,
And then it was you
Heading for the emergency room
Got a broken heart
Left destroyed and all alone
It's bye, bye baby
Emergency room's calling,
You've got a broken heart

First and last

The first one to cross my mind
Bring a smile to my face and tears to my eyes
The first I think about when I wake
And the last when I go to sleep
The one I dream about day and night
I could dream of her forever
So many memories and so many tears
Never thought the funny ones would make me sad
But they make me happy too
She's the one that's always on my mind
The first and the last person
I need her.

Giving in

I'll tell myself to forget
To move on and pretend
Walk past without a second glance
Pretend you didn't exist,
That I'm invisible
Pretend that I don't care at all
That it's no big deal and that I'm okay
Hide myself when it all hits me
And realize that it's all true
Living a lie and running from the truth
Telling myself that I don't love you
Knowing that later it will tear me apart
Walk past you and give you that second glance
A single look in your eyes
And I give in,
Giving into my heart and allowing emotions wash over me
Heart pounding and tears bleed
I could tell myself that I don't love you all I want
But my heart knows that it's not the truth
I love you and one look is all it takes
Say the word and I'm all yours
I'm giving in
Knees weak and bound to buckle
Falling to the ground
I give in to you,
I love you.

My weakness

Everyday my heart aches
Waiting for something from you;
Anything at all
Wishing you would grab my hands
Tell me that you miss me
That you've wanted me all along
To even look at me in the eye and smile
I miss the trills of your laughs
And the smile that dance in your eyes
I could lie and say I don't want you
That I've moved on and that I don't need you
Or that I don't love you
But my eyes would give me away
My heart would break along with my voice
I couldn't lie to you if I tried
You can easily make me the happiest person in the world
But you can also make me the weakest
You give me strength but you also make me vulnerable
If anything, you're my weakness
I couldn't fight that
You could break me but you'd fix me with a smile
You're the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me
You are my personal brand of heroin,
Addictive and unable to give up.

Forever

Wishing away my dreams
A lifetime with you does not suffice
My heart beats onto its last beat for you
I'd take my last breath and give it to you
I would dance with you one last time
If it meant it gave you forever
If you were happy, even if it's without me
But my love, I'd give you anything that I could
You wanted love, I gave you it
You wanted to be free, I left you be
But I still live for you
My heart beats on,
My last breath will be for you
Everlasting and forever yours,
Take care of my heart for I have left it with you.

Drama is overrated

Quick whispers and shocked gasps
Playing the telephone game
Nobody truly cares
Except the ones it revolves around
People getting angry and people crying
Fights break out and people break down
Rumors get out and around
But when does the truth finally come out?
It breaks people but it also set them free
Drama is unnecessary and a waste of time
Heartbreak and broken friendships
Just end it all because it's not worth it
Keep things to yourself!

I need you

Lying wide awake
Between my two best friends
A night filled with laughter and sillyness
Turned into a night of loneliness
Leaving me to stray my thoughts
And leading them straight to you
Wondering what you're doing
If you're lying in bed wide awake at 4 am
Missing me like how I'm missing you
I dream of us, of being whole
I can't take this anymore
Feeling all alone when people are surrounded...
Is like a black hole
Full and empty
I can't live without you,
I don't want to.
I miss you every second of the day
I live and breathe for you,
Tell me you need me too...

It's your turn now

Dead on the inside
Cause without you,
I'm barely even here
Can't even feel your sweet breath
So far away, so unreachable
So transparent, I'm fading away
I'm so invisible and you're so irresistible
You wanted this
But now you wish you knew what it's like
To be so alone, to be so unnoticed
To be forgotten just like the way you forgot me
Go be a ghost, because that's what I've been all along
It's your turn now
To be dead on the inside
Cause without you,
I was barely even here
I walked the lonely road
Silent screams made not a sound
So far away, so unreachable
Fight while you can,
Because being forgotten and broken
Is such a lonely road to walk all alone
Dead on the inside
Cause without you,
I'm barely even here
I'm already disappearing.

Silent Beauty

Sun sets while full moon rises
Blackness blanket the night
Twinkles of stars light up the sky
Silence fill the awed beauty
Stars begin to dance and hypnotize
Dreams begin to grow and fantasize
The river plays a silent melody
Water lapping among the rocks
Creating such sense of tranquility
Soft, moist breeze flow through the trees
The air, sweet with dew
Such silent beauty to fill the world

After all this...

You say you care
That you miss me and want me
But you're not even there
How can you lie to me?
After saying you loved me for seven months
Seven months apparently means nothing to you now
You go and you laugh and you don't care at all
You take my best friend and put her in the middle of us
You can't even look at me in the eye
Or talk to my face
I was hurt and sad and missed you
I still miss you, but I'm more angry and insulted
you said you loved me, but how could you have ever loved me?
If you did, you never would have hurt me like this
You would have talked and hung out with me
Make me feel better and maybe we could have even been friends
But at this point I cannot see this happening
I miss you, but what can I do anymore?
I'm giving up, giving up on love, on you.

Breakdown

Looking for the beauty in something ugly
Trying to find the silver lining
Finding the strength inside shades of grey
Maybe I'm headed for a break down
And maybe I'm gonna be okay
Because with or without you
I'm gonna break and I'm gonna fall
But it will be alright
Because if I'm headed for a break down
Or go for a shake down,
I'll have me but who are you gonna have?

Let me Fall

Let me rise and let me fall
Let me breathe and let me hold it all in
Let me lose control of all sense of reality
I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break and let me crawl
Let me fight and let me drown
I'm done being afraid of it all
I lost you and now there's nothing left
What do I have left to lose?
I will get up again if you let me fall
Because after you, I'm still standing
Even though I'm hurting through it all

Start anew

She sits on the hood of her car
Contemplating why she drove there
With so much on her mind,
The break of dawn has risen
Sounds of baby birds chirping for their mothers
Air moist from the cold night
Grass wet with dew
The sky turn from grey to shades of pink and purple
Big, white, puffy clouds float by
Waves crash below the cliff
Tranquility brushes over her
The cool breeze spray sea mist at her face
The morning has sung, a brand new day has begun
This is why she had driven here,
To start anew, to forget about her life for a moment
She feels fresh

Barely Alive

Each night is barely bearable to go to sleep with
Because it's the end of another day without you,
But each morning kills parts of me
Because it's another day to begin without you in my arms.
I'm barely even alive,
I'm lost and unsure of where to go
It feels like you've died but you're still around
I see you but it's like you're just a dream
Memories cling around me and hits me like bullets
Sometimes I just want to fall apart
But I hold it together until you're gone
I can't let you see these tears,
I have to be stronger than I am
I can't show you exactly how bad I'm hurting
Because I don't want to bring you down,
It shouldn't affect you
But how do I live through another day without you?
I do things because I have to,
Other times I just want to stay in bed and sleep
The only things that are keeping me alive are my friends
And because of you because I don't think
I could hurt you enough to do that
Even though you're gone, I'm still in love with you
I miss you more and more each day
I'm barely alive anymore.

Make me whole again

Each night I feel a void growing bigger and bigger
As I go through another day without her,
Loneliness and emptiness fill my dreams
Aching for her weightless arms to wrap around
So alone, even if a friend is here
It isn't enough, the hole gets bigger
This isn't something anyone can fill
No one but her can make me feel whole again
Each night it's hard going to bed,
Knowing that it was the end of another day without her
Each day, it's even harder to get up
Because it's another day having to get through life
Without the one I want there more than anything
Some days I wonder, if I'll ever wake up
Because life shouldn't be this hard
No one can fill the void of heartache that she has left me with
No one, except for her can make me whole again
I'll have to live my life carrying this void around
Until I die or until she decides to save me
Make me whole again.

Chase

In a new strange town,
The sky grows darker and the sun begin to set
Glance at the watch and time has suddenly disappeared
The rush begin to catch the train home
Running into one direction
But then you realize you've forgotten where you had come from
The wind starts to increase
You pull up your coat in attempt to block off the harsh wind
Decide to turn left but then four guys appear
You turn around and head back the other direction
You notice that two of the guys were still following
You quicken your pace
Time is getting later and the rain begin to fall
Chills begin to run up your spine
As you reach a corner,
Across the street you see the other two guys
You look back and see the two who were following you
Were chasing you, leading you down this path
Your breath shortens, you begin to shake
Terrified for your life
These guys begin to yell
Laughing and tells you to calm down
That they just want to "talk"
You run across the opposite side of the street
Bright headlights sweep your way
A car roars loudly as a door swings open
A familiar face quickly shouts for you to get in
Without a second glance or a thought of hesitation,
You jump in and sigh a relief
The car roars away,
Safe at last with the person you love.

Took it all for granted

The last few months have disappeared
I wonder where all that time had went
How it had gone by so quickly,
The time spent with her
Was possibly one of the best times in my life
That had gone too fast,
I never thought that I'd have to live without her
To ache every day just for a single hug
To wake up beside her beautiful face
I've tried to slow down,
Tried not to take her for granted
But it's too late
She's gone
Now all that's left is me sitting here
Reminiscing day and night
Wishing that I could see her smile
Hear her say she loves me
And to smell that cologne I had bought for her
Just to feel her wanting to hold me just a little while longer
I didn't think that memories of her would break me
Thinking of her would bring me down
All the happy times are just left wishing to go back into time
All that's left for me to do is to watch her be happy
To let her go on with her life,
Someday mine will begin again
But right now my world has been put on pause
Time goes by so slowly
Just when I wish it had been slower while I was with her
Some day, some how everything will be alright
Maybe I won't have to live without her,
Maybe I do have to but somehow it will be okay
I will eventually move on, I have to.

Live your life

Have you ever laid back and watched the clouds go by?
Or listen to the pitter patter of a child's bare feet running around the house?
Have you taken the time to think about life?
Or do you run through every day with haste?
Slow down, don't rush through life
Have you ever just sat on a bench and watch people go about their lives?
Watched a whole bunch of fish swim and wonder if they like their life?
Or watch little kids faces light up when their parents show up to pick them up from school?
Slow down, what are you hurrying for?
Ever just painted a picture just for the hell of it?
Or picked apart a flower saying "she loves me, she loves me not?"
Or just sat with a friend because they needed someone to be with?
Have you just wondered what life could have been like if you did something different?
Slow down
Have you said "hi, how are you" and not wait for the answer?
Said no to a friend because you were too busy when they needed you the most?
Or crushed a child by breaking a small promise to take them somewhere special,
Without knowing you had disappointed them?
Slow down, breathe life.. you can only live it once
Have you ever just danced in the rain or climbed a tree?
Have you felt so free that you could float on air?
Or kissed someone you love and wish you could never let go?
Ever chase a butterfly just to see where it is going?
Got up early in the morning just to see the sun rise?
Or laughed with friends and take a road trip?
Slow down, live your life. Don't rush it.
Stop missing out on the great things in life.
Children are the face of nature,
Life has so much to offer,
don't live through each day with clutter filling your head.
Get out there, slow down and take in the scenery
Hold a child's hand and play hopscotch or go to the zoo.
Do anything adventurous once in a while,
Experience life, don't fight it.
Just live.

Rain Dance

The sky grow dark and ominious
Grey clouds roll in
Thunder claps shake the ground
Lightning strikes
Not once but twice
Hits a tree and broken into two
The rain starts to fall
And we begin to dance
Running around the field
Singing at the top of our lungs,
"Rain! rain! Go away! Come back again another day!"
The rain pours on as we get soaked
But filled with laughter
Along with the sound of lightning
We created music.

Love: is it a lie?

My best friend said "love" is never a bad thing. It cannot hurt you. I had said that love is a lie. Is it the truth? She said love cannot hurt you. That it's the love ones who do. The truth tend to hurt. Fear, rejection and losing someone all hurts. But love is what holds you together. Love is just that, it's love. It heals all wounds and pains inflicted by others. Love makes us feel good again. But we sometimes confuse love with lust. Is love really out there? Or is it just the infatuation of having someone there to say they adore you, that they care about you. How is it truly love if someone cares about you and say they want to be with you until they find something new and better. I wish I didn't have to question love, but what is there if people always leave? Are we better off not loving certain people to avoid pain and heartbreak? Granted, there are different kinds of love. For example, the love of a child, of a parent, or the love of an animal or of a friend. But in the end, they could all leave. People change, people grow and then they walk away. So, how can "love" not hurt? Have you ever felt so much heartache just from loving someone? Hurting because they are or because they're not there at the moment? Call it need and desire if you want but I do believe that love does hurt. Love can be a lie. Though, love can be such an amazing thing at times, it can also be the worst thing for someone. It can either build you or destroy you. It just all depends on people and on yourself; on who you are and who you choose to love. So, the answer to my question "is love a lie?" is yes. Love can be a lie, but love can also be the truth; it just depends how and where you interpret it.

Tormented

She runs in circles
Tripping over broken words
Obscenities thrown at her like daggers
Each promise cut through her like glass
Bleeding out tears
Skinning knees
Tormenting words eat away her self esteem
She writes to escape any form of reality
Anything to keep her sanity
To stray from thoughts of suicide
She has scars on her body
Each has a single purpose beyond reason
Constant confusion and stabbing reminders
Wishing she could be someone else
Knowing she would be better off dead
But she continues to fight
Through all of her pain
All she has to do is pull the trigger
She just has to end the voices in her head
But instead she writes them down
And she bleeds them out
Word for word
This ends now.

Tornado

Spiraling deeper and deeper
Hearts being shaded from red to grey to black as charcoal,
True thoughts go unsaid,
Wrong things get blurted out
Misconceptions of what was or isn't said,
Confusion and instability,
Anger and tears get pent up inside
Fuming like a dark cloud in the sky
Like a tornado waiting to destroy everything in sight-
I am that tornado;
I destroyed us.
I turned us from shades of color to shades of grey
To shades of black and left for dead
Every blossomed flower lay withered
Full of destruction,
All because of me.

I'm sorry

I hate that I made you sad,
I hate that I hurt you
I wish I could take back the things I said
I wish you would understand
I don't want to make you cry
And I definitely don't want to make you mad
All I want is for everything to be alright...
I want you to be able to look at me and say you love me..
But you don't.
I miss you even though you don't want to hear it
There's nothing left for me to say,
The only thing I can do now is sit back and let you go.
I'm just sorry I ruined what we had because I'm still in love with you.

I wish I could change.

Full of pent up anger,
Crying and screaming
Violent shakes,
Fists pounding at pillows
So confused, so hurt
Not knowing what to do,
Tears streaming down my face
Wishing I could change
Who I am
I wish I trusted you
Maybe I didn't love you enough
Or maybe it was too much
Breaking down, falling apart
Wishing I was still yours
That none of this had ever happened
Silently crying,
"I miss you" whispers through the sobs
Voices break and cracks
This heartache will never end
We are unfinished.

She burned you and then you learn that love's a lie.

She burned you and then you learn that love's a lie,
You spend days and hours on end wondering where you went wrong
Loveless lies and cries brings tears to your eyes
Dreaming that someday she'll change her mind
Come back and around
Holding onto something, anything that's there
She walks on by, doesn't even notice that you're there
You used to be her everything, now she doesn't care
You're invisible.
Doesn't she make you want to scream?
Endless cries of a broken heart,
She burned you and then you learn that love's a lie.

hate this part

Its the same old routine
Don't matter cause that's what this has gotta be
You're over there minding the scene
Hot chicks all over you
You brush em off
Like you care at all
You're on the prowl
I'm just doing my thing

Moving along to the music
Its going too strong
I've gotta stop
Gotta Walk away

I hate this part right here
But I've gotta do it
I gotta do it
Walk away with all I've got
Keys in my hand
Get in the car and not look back

Its getting too strong
I've gotta be stronger
I've let this linger for too long
Gotta end it before its too heavy
Its not you, its me
You deserve better and you know it

I hate this part right here
But I've gotta do it
I've Gotta do it
Walk away with all I've got
Keys in my hand
Get in the car and not look back

You know its too much to handle
I'm just another girl off your belt
I've gotta do it
Gotta do it
Before its too late

I hate this part right here
But I've gotta do it
I've gotta do it
Walk away with all I've got
Keys in my hand
Get in the car and not look back

Gotta get my head on track
Protect my heart cause I know it has no chance against you
Don't want a broken heart

Its getting too strong
I've gotta be stornger
I've let this linger for too long
Gotta end it before its too heavy
Its not you, its me
You deserve better and you know it

I hate this part right here
But I've gotta do it
I've gotta do it
Walkaway with all I've got
Keys in my hand
Get in the car and not look back
I hate this part

Story not yet done

In mid of a deep conversation, I began to get frustrated with her. It was getting late or I suppose you could say early since the sun was beginning to break. I looked at my wrist for the time, but I had taken my watch off earlier. I was tired. Tired of sitting at the desk, night by night. Arguing over the littlest things. I knew I had to give up and change something in my life. To set a goal. I knew I wanted her, but she didn't want me. She would tell me one thing then another. How could I possibly think that this girl remotely wanted me? I'm too plain. Too overly emotional and dramatic. I was in love with someone who chucked me for the next thing. I felt used, like a toy thrown behind to be forgotten. I had to find a way to get her back. I couldn't keep on living like this; crying all the time. Something had to give. She said she wanted me too, wanted and loved me but not just me. After she had signed off and said good night, I got up from my computer and poured myself a drink. I drink to numb myself so I wouldn't have to miss her for a few hours. I was tired of drowning myself in misery. I knew I wouldn't be happy without her, but at least the pain would subside. I looked at the clutter of mess that would be my desk. How was it possible to even work in this mess? I was tired of my life. Of always being such a slob. I began to shove jotted down papers into a bag. Felt my phone vibrating under the mess. I started to throw everything off the desk, trying to find the phone to answer it. After a few minutes of searching, I find the phone and see a few unread text messages. It was a rare moment when I did not answer my messages. They were from her. Asking me if I was working today. She never says a simple "I miss you" or a "how are you?" Of course, she would know the answer to that. It never changes. Without answering, I chucked the pink blackberry aside. I knew she would wonder, but she probably didn't care. I had better things to do today. I wasn't going to school, just a waste of my time. I much rather just sit at my computer and write. That or go shopping. Blow my paychecks before I even have it. Whatever, it made me feel better. I went to find some change of clean clothes in my dresser. Tiptoeing around so I wouldn't wake my roomate up. He was an even bigger slob. Clothes everywhere on the floor, on the chair. Dirty dishes took place on his desk. He was lying stretched out in bed, snoring. God, what a disgusting pig. I grabbed my clothes and quickly got out of there. My fluffy orange cat pawed at my feet as I walked by in the hallway toward the bathroom. What I needed was a hot shower to start the morning off. I needed to shake my thoughts of her away. I undressed and turned the shower faucet on. The cat jumped and sat ontop the toilet and watched me get in. I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking about the times I had broken down in this shower. The times I had sex with her and everything. What was I thinking? I need to forget her. Well, there goes a perfectly good shower ruined. I got out and dried off. Got dressed then grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I didn't bother dry my hair. I had enough. I was sick of being cooped up in that crummy one bedroom apartment. I needed to get out, I wanted to see her. I knew she was working at ten o'clock. It was a Saturday. I didn't work for another few hours. I walked down my street. Wishing that the snow would melt and that the weather would get warmer already. It was supposed to be spring for gods sake. I wanted the sunshine to beat on my back. I wanted to wear capris and a simple tank top instead of the heavy winterwear. I got to the end of the street. I knew I shouldn't go see her. Afterall, she probably didn't want to talk. She would just brush me aside for some new girl. What's new? I decided I wasn't going to go visit her just yet. I headed for the book store. The sidewalk was wet. Signs that the snow was beginning to melt. I thought happily to myself, maybe I will get a book today. I crossed the road and headed into the book store. Indigo was huge. I couldn't remember the last time I had been here by myself. Oh, I probably haven't. I remember the last time I was here. I had come with her. I headed straight for the teen section. Looking for the next great buy. I flipped through some vampire novels. It was all the rage these days. Everyone was writing and reading those. I'm a big fan of Twilight, but it had become such a fad where they're turning the series into movies. Too many teens were attracted, it ruined the feel of a good book. I had enough. I didn't find a book, so I headed over to Starbucks. I ordered a Vanilla Chocolate Latte. I sat down for a moment. Deciding to text my friend. Seeing as she worked today too as well, I'd find out if she was on her break yet. I missed her. I'd spend hours talking to her because I loved her. Even when she frustrated me. I hated this; missing her. Everything I ever wrote was pretty much about her. I didn't have a goal set in my life. Except that I knew I wanted to write. I went to see my friend that was working. I wondered if she got her new dreads yet. I loved her pink hair. I wished I could sport my hair like that, it would attract too much attention though. I have enough as it is, I rather be invisible except to her. She would look at me like I had twelve heads anyway. She couldn't even talk to me. I hated how she would text me and bitch at me if I didn't answer but couldn't talk to me in person? How ridiculous is that? I had told her I thought about moving. She didn't care. Why do I get so upset about this girl? Whatever, I thought. I've got to move on. I walked into the doors at my low paying job. God, I hated this place. It's always such a mess and there's always some cranky old bitchy lady. I walked to my department. She looked over at me, and gave me a nod. I went straight to the fitting room to talk to my friend.

Am I all alone?

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

Did you think that I'd forget you?
That I'd be alright without you?
Think I'd be happy?
I want to scream just to feel alive

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

I drink just to numb myself
So I won't have to miss you
I don't want to feel
I'm drowning in misery
I want to scream just to feel alive

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

Does it have to be like this?
You're so far away
I can't even feel your heartbeat
I can't feel your hugs
Can't feel your breath on my neck
It's like you never existed

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

I want to breathe
I want to soar
I wish you were mine
I wish you were around
Feel your warmth around my soul

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

Give me a fighting chance
Give me room to breathe
Why did you have to leave?
Think I'd forget?
The way I held you when you fell asleep?
I couldn't be more of a mess

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

I just want to scream
I want to feel so alive
Is that so wrong?
I want to breathe you in
Take you in my arms
Hold you all night like I used to

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

How could I forget?
All the times we'd just dream?
Times that you'd take me in your arms,
Say that I'm always gonna be yours
Don't you know?
You've got all of me

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

Hear the devil cry
I want to scream just to feel alive
I don't want to be alone anymore
I want to feel your arms

Am I all alone?
Am I all alone?

With or without you

Song's still playing
The music is never ending,
I could dance all day long
But you're not here anymore
I think of the times
That you'd take me by the hand
And do that silly dance
I miss feeling you around my arms,
I'm tired of lying to myself
Of saying that I'm gonna be okay
I'm not, and I miss you
I miss dancing with you
All I know is,
The song is going to end
With or without you

miss you

What am I thinking?
How could I have ever thought
That you'd be in love with me.
Sitting around, waiting for you
Wasting my time, waiting on nothing.
I hate that I miss you,
That I still cry and want to hold you and say I love you.
Thoughts of moving,
Of changing something
Because I'm missing you
I want you
But I don't need you
I love you
But I don't like you
why do I miss you?
Shattered hearts are like shattered glass,
Uneasy to piece them back together again.
We're that shattered glass,
You broke us,
I miss you and
I wish I didn't.

Just ain't for me baby

When I first met you,
I didn't even want to feel a thing
To fall in love because I was afraid
Because I knew with you, I'd crash
I've tried and tried to get you off my mind,
But baby, it ain't having it
Tryin to give it up,
But you know it's always gonna be you
No matter what I do
Even if I try with someone else
It's always you
The end of the day, you're the one I want
I'm not even gonna bother
Giving up on love;
It just ain't for me
When I know it's always gonna be you
And I ain't ever gonna have you again
So, baby don't even think about it
I'm just giving up on love;
Just ain't for me baby

I could lie

I could lie
I could say I don't love you,
That I don't care at all.
Walk away carelessly
As you fall to pieces
Watch you as every thread comes undone,
And not even say a word.
But I can't
I can't lie to you of all people,
You're the one I want to hold
To make sure your world doesn't crumble at your feet.
I want to bring you the world,
To be completely yours.
Without a doubt, I cannot say
That I don't love you
Because I do.
I love you so much.

Anyone can say they love you.

Thousand words flow in my head
Billions of tears for you, I shed
So many words I wish I could say
But lately all I ever do is
Bite my tongue and look the other way
You walk on by,
I put on a face to mask my pain
Hidden lines of truth and heartache
Holding onto invisible threads,
Trying not to allow myself to fall apart
At least not in front of you
I always have to catch my breath,
Heat flame up my cheeks
And the tears begin to shed
There's only very few things that
No one else knows
They don't know just how much I miss you
How much I even love you,
How much I'd step aside and do anything for you
Anyone can say they miss you,
Say that they love you
But not anyone will mean it
But at least you know this one thing from me,
I do miss you and I do love you with my whole heart
But do you miss me... is what I wonder
Every day I wonder if you even think about me,
About us...
I love you.