Anxiety

Running-
In circles, never ending
No escape- trapped
Constant cycle, get me out of here
Terrified- anxiety soaring high
Crowded, suffering to the point of suffocation
Speechless, my mind running amok
Please, save me.


Anxiety: a mental illness that is difficult to overcome and should NEVER be taken lightly... all kinds of illnesses out there are not always readable across the body but they are there. Please be kind, please be understanding and informed. Do not judge.

Beg me why?

I can't stand tall, 
I can't speak my mind
I hold it all inside 
I've been walking on thin ice
I can't do this, 
I can't do this anymore

And then you beg me why?
I need you to step aside,
Give me the chance to breathe
My breaking heart can't take this
When you're down on your knees,
You'll understand why-
I've gotta save me,
I've gotta save me over you...

I feel so small,
I'm breaking down
Reach me up,
Don't tear me down
You can't break me-
Can't break me

And then you beg me why?
I need you to step aside,
Give me the chance to breathe
My breaking heart can't take this
When you're down on your knees,
You'll understand why-
I've gotta save me,
I've gotta save me over you...

I close my eyes,
There you stand; with your broken wings
You've fallen so far, so far
You'll see how broken you really are
I can't hold you up,
I've gotta choose me
I can't take this...

And then you beg me why?
I need you to step side,
Give me the chance to breathe
My breaking heart can't take this
When you're down on your knees,
You'll understand why-
I've gotta save me,
I've gotta save me over you...

I can't keep up,
You've soared ahead-
You've left me so far behind
So when you ask me why,
Look in the mirror-
And see where the shattered pieces you've broken
You'll see why, why I've gotta choose


And then you beg me why?
I need you to step side,
Give me the chance to breathe
My breaking heart can't take this
When you're down on your knees,
You'll understand why-
I've gotta save me,
I've gotta save me over you...

 

My lonely song

Today, I'm singing my lonely song
Fallen leaves crunching beneath my feet
The wind whispering through my hair
I keep on daydreaming of you and me
I miss the look in your eyes;
The touch of your skin against mine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
I can't wait for the day to see you again
I love you, I love you, I love you....

Love

How do you measure love?
Time without you is always long
But with you-
I can't get enough
Time consuming,
I'm completely under
Each goodbye, no matter how long;
My heart breaks a little every time
I can't wait-
To hold you once again
Cherish every little moment
This little distance is nothing-
Compared to a lifetime with you
I love you forever & ever, eternity.

Fallen

I've fallen
Deep, down inside

It consumes me-
I cannot breathe

Bound within my mind
Incapacitated

Thoughts run a million mile an hour
But it's always the same thought ending; you

I am lost- at every turn
I've been running for so, so long

Always waiting for an answer-
But I cannot continue this game of chase

You'll make or break me,
I'll be stronger in the end

Just. Let. Me. Go.

Freedom

Plunge-
Head first, Breathless
No need for escape
I can taste it-
Soaking wet; salt water upon my skin
Refreshing
I can taste you.

Dark Angel

Darkness calls-
Shadows cover my dreams
Dark angel warns
Fallen upon my knees,
Gate of tears broke loose
Beckoning; don't let them in
The paths smeared of broken hearts-
Lost dreams and broken souls
Sullen and shattered pieces
Spread your darkest wings-
Stretch out wide as far as they can go
Carry me in your arms
Beautiful darkness;
Don't cry for me
I've fallen one too many
Time's run out for my hopes and dreams
Angel, fly me home again-
Dark wings and all.

Show your colors

And it's on tonight-
The pen's running out
It's time to turn the page
The light's dimming low
Your drinks' almost out
It's time to come out-
Stop your hiding now
Let the world know;
Just who you are
Don't be shy, just take my hand
We'll face this together
 Pick up the pieces,
Show them you can do this;
You're stronger than they are
All you have to do is breathe-
Don't let them see; all your fears
Wipe away your tears,
Put on your best dress, fake your biggest smile
You can do this
Don't let anybody tell you; who you are
Let them think what they want to think
Sing your song, the world will cry-
Cry your song tonight
Show them who you are-
You're the best person you'll ever be
Don't be afraid,
Just breathe and stand proud
Love who you are-
Because you are... simply amazing.

Best Friend

Take my hand and let's walk a mile,
Say the things that's been on your mind

Take your time; stay awhile,
Let go of all things that you've confined

Pandora's box,
Broken wide

Let loose all you've kept locked,
I'll always walk alongside

Put your trust inside me,
My friendship is the one you'll always bear

I'll hold the key,
Let yourself be completely bare

Start anew,
I'll help you rebuild your state of mind

You will always push through,
You'll finally become unconfined

I will hold you when you can't go on,
Wipe your tears as they begin to fall

As soon as your feelings have been drawn,
You'll be able to hold it above all

Always know, you're never alone,
I'll always help pick the pieces

You don't have to go through everything on your own,
 Eventually you'll be able to release

Until then, I'll always be by your side.

Now and then

Breathe-
            I am trapped

Release-
           I can't let go

Forgive-
           I don't know how

Believe-
           I've lost my faith

Trust-
          I have to start all over again

Light-
          I am filled with darkness

Emotions-
          I have locked them away

---------------------------------------------------

Locked-
          I have set them free

Darkness-
          I found my light

Distrust-
          I found her's

Faithless-
          I believe in her love

Unforgiving-
          I let go of my past

Trapped-
          I am freed

Breathless-
          She's my Sweetest Insanity.

Combusting

Intertwined:
         Two paths


Stasis:
          Unmoving


Black & white:
          No shades of grey


Endless:
          Decisions and unstability


Control:
          Out of my reach


Fear:
           Everything, anything


Losing:
           My way

                                I
                                  Am
                                       Divided

Unanswered

To take the path not yet taken,
Or the path that's been heavily trodden?

Crossroads and forks,
Which direction to choose?

Take the easy way out,
Or the hard way and find out?

Follow the script,
Or make it up along the way?

Fall into mainstream,
Or make yourself known?

Choose black and white,
Or color your life in rainbow?

Listen to your head,
Or follow your heart?

How do you ever choose?

Locked up Tight

Blindfolded-
Unable to speak; gagged
Obscured from sight,
Except I can see
My lips shiver from unspoken words-
Bound so tight,
I cannot breathe
Knots hold me down-
Unbreakable yet fragile
My story will go untold.
Tongue tied; trapped inside
There's no escape

Wanderer

Wide awake
Entrapped within thoughts
Weaving endless threads
Never coming together; always apart
Grasping at something, anything
Always falling, never steady
I cannot hold on- where's my strength?
Wait, go back
I can't...
I'm too far gone
Give me a hand, any hand-
ANYBODY?
Are you there- am I that alone?
Save me...
For I cannot save myself.

Despair

Feelings of dread
Reaching into the darkness
Full of despair
Thoughts creep back
The mirror image of you appear,
No body's there
Shattered glass
And I fall to pieces-

Forever

Terrified-
Of being shattered
Picking up shards: only leaves scars*
Being left alone-
By you: Never
My body, mind and soul
I gave it all away-
Yours: forever and eternity
Bounded, trust, honesty
We are entwined-
My scars, your scars:
We will heal each other
Our love is what got me here,
I'm trusting you- with my-
Heart-
Body-and-
Soul.
  FOREVER.

You're my everything

Tearing the skin
Bubbles then drips
Single satisfaction
Slowly- one by one
The tears come rolling down
...a broken promise-
Never forgotten.

Endlessly

Would it be okay-
If I fell apart
Would your heart hurt-
If I shut down
Would you be okay-
If I buried myself deep inside
would you break-
If I couldn't stay today
What if I-
Said I couldn't handle the truth
Would you care?
Would you chase me?
Or would you say goodbye?

Heart Attack

Breathe-
Blood pressure escalates
Beating as fast as a humming bird
I see you- my heart slows
Body heavy,
Feeling lightheaded-
I miss you.

Never Ending

Completely trapped-
Boiling inside
Agony, bloodcurdling screams
Shredded-
Endless knots; unable to come apart
Pounding throughout my veins
Tearing my skin-
Anger, disgust and hatred grip my thoughts
Wrenching- my heart
Incapable of release; save me!
Voices scream- no escape
Vines wrap my body,
Taking me for their own
Stripped-of my identity
Changes; endlessly
Obstacles never overcome
No voice of reason
Just me, myself and I-
...an eternal battle